Realization

So, I realize it's been quite a while since I've written anything. Life's been interesting, trying to get settled in Hawaii, and trying to figure out what's next in my life.

Recently, though, I realized that I feel lost as a person. I think it's just because I left home to come here where I have nothing but Carl. I don't really have friends of my own, only his friends whom I've become friends with. It's kinda sad that the person I'm closest to out here (Other than Carl) is one of my coworkers. A retired Hawaiian lady named Fely. What is nice about being out here is that they're pretty accepting, once they get past the whole "white person" thing. Fely has pretty much accepted me into her family, introducing me to her daughter, grand daughters (who are my age) and her great-grand daughter. It's nice, but at the same time makes me feel all that much more lonely.

Plus, Carl is debating what he would like to go to school for when he goes back. And, recently, with the placement of a Linux operating system on his laptop, he's been thinking of going into computer science. Now, I know this is going to sound probably shallow, but I can't help it, this kinda makes me upset. Computer Science was MY thing, which I left behind when I came out here. Doesn't really feel fair that he should be able to pick it up at the drop of a hat when I don't really have the capabilities of planning for any school at this point (since we're leaving in November, there isn't enough time to enroll out here, and most of the degrees I might want are ones you actually have to attend classes)

I guess I just feel a little lost and hopeless sometimes, but I'm sure that'll all change when I end up going back since I will be able to have my own "thing". I'm thinking I might go into Elementary Education. I know it's a pretty big leap from Computer Science, but I've been thinking back to TAing for Ms. Boyd and Mrs. Laabs and I'm kinda excited at the prospect. I'm not sure what my actual degree would be, possibly math or science, but it seems like something that I could do and be happy with!

Anyways, I'm off to work. Just had to let out some steam. Thanks for "listening".

<3

Domestication? One point for me.

So. I attempted to make Chili today. I spent last night on the internet just looking at recipes, getting an idea of what to put in it. And, I have to say, even though I didn't follow a recipe exactly, it turned out pretty darn good. I guess I'll write it down, so anyone can give me input, if you'd like.

1 jar of Grandma's canned tomatoes
1 lb ground chicken (I didn't have ground beef, but I'm sure that would taste better.)
1/2 medium onion, diced.
1 can chili beans
1/2 cup lentils (I think that more would be ok, I just wasn't sure how it'd work...)
Chili powder, salt, pepper & Ground Cumin to taste

Brown the beef/chicken. add onion, salt and pepper. Combine ingredients in crock pot (or pot) and cook for 1/2 an hour or all day if you want ^_^

It seemed to work pretty good. Kyle enjoyed it. and so did my friend Celis... Plus, I made cornbread muffins to go with it. De-lish!

Other than that. Today was pretty good. Slept 'til 10:30. Showered. Put together the Chili. Went out for lunch with my friend Laura (Olive Garden: Soup, Salad and Breadsticks. YUM!) Groceries/Shopko visit with Kyle. We got Princess temporary tattoos! It was exciting. ^_^ And. Candy to eat while being alone. And a puzzle. which we are half done with. It's pretty. and I'm gonna put puzzle glue on it, and hang it up. :) I'm excited. Oh! And I got a hat. With ear flaps. I love clearance. $5. and It's super warm (and apparently cute! Although I think I look awful in hats. lol.)

But. That was my day. I don't think I'll go to bed 'til we're a lot closer to finished with the puzzle. I'm sure it'll be done tomorrow! I'm so excited!

3 weeks down... how many more?!

Well. It's Tuesday.

It's officially been 3 weeks since Carl pulled out of Pearl Harbor on deployment. Don't really know how I feel about this, other than the fact that it really sucks that my heart is pulled in a million different directions right now. I kinda want to go back home (which isn't an option 'til Carl's brother leaves for England since he's staying here) so I can be closer to friends and my immediate family. But. Carl's in Thailand right now (pulled in yesterday), Bethany's in Madrid (I'm so jealous! lol.) and Missy's in Colorado. It's like, I don't know what to do with myself, I feel so left behind and alone. I guess I shouldn't, but I do.

Plus, I ended up in the hospital again last week since my blood sugars haven't been as normal as they should be. I figured out, however, that my doctors when I was growing up didn't explain to me the correct way to keep my insulin in line. So, hopefully that's the only problem I've been having, and I can keep things under control now. I'm so tired of hospital visits. I've been there too many times, because the nurses have started recognizing me. Oh well. Not again. at least, that's the goal.
But it was definitely a first for some things this visit. 1. I was awake/conscious when they put the catheter in... 2. They put a central line in. which involved stitches and 3 iv's in my neck. Which resulted in having to wear a yellowed bandage on my neck for 72 hours. It was gross. But I finally took it off today! at 3. I counted down the seconds. 3. First time being alone and capable of my own health decisions without input from others.
And it's nice to be out.

I worked yesterday and today. I get tomorrow off, and then work Thursday-Sunday. Its nice to have stuff to do, but I still have all afternoon off, and never know what to do with myself!! I'm working on being a mentor for a high school kid with diabetes. I'm really excited about it, cause it would definitely look amazing on a resume, plus, I think I can use the support as much as she can. So, we'll see where that goes.

I think I'm gonna wrap this up, and go sit down and knit. Working on a scarf before Kyle goes to England! Hopefully I can get it done!!

Well. I survived the first week without going to classes. Don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but we'll see.

It's been super nice to have Carl's brother Kyle around. His wife is in the Air Force, and is currently stationed in England. He's just waiting on a passport and visa so he can join them. But, I had to get him out of his house, so I brought him up to Eau Claire with me. It's been nice to not feel just like a bum. We keep each other company, and he reminds me enough of his brother (in actions and words.) so I'm not too depressed. Plus, he's going through things that I've gone through similarly. So we can relate (well. when he starts talking!! which isn't very often. I think he thinks he's a burden)
But. He's got a really cute husky puppy, Moose. Moose must be 3 months old now, and barely trained at all, which is definitely an interesting experience for me. I emailed Carl and told him we are not getting a puppy. ever. Moose enjoys biting. Not his bone. But the coffee table is missing a little bit from the corner, and he's nipped at my hands/legs. Of course, my automatic response is to hit him. I DON'T like dogs biting at me. Not sure why. But he also enjoys peeing when he's excited. Since we have another dog in the house, Nico, that gets to be quite often.

Today was an adventure all to itself! Luckily I didn't have to work long this morning. Only 'til 11, which is really nice! Made 4 beds and got to leave the hotel, since there were only 8 rooms that needed to be cleaned and originally there were 5 of us there!
After that, I had arranged with Kyle's father-in-law to get him over there (Durand = 40 min drive) so he could help pack up their wedding loot to send to England. Well. We sat there and chilled with Dave's room mate, Linda, who I actually worked with in Oconomowoc at Pick N Save. Eventually Linda had to go to work, so Kyle and I waited there for Kay's dad. He calls us at 4:30 (we had gotten there a little before 1) and appologized, he thought it was supposed to be tomorrow (even though I had double checked!! like twice.) So. That was an interesting thing.

So. Now. I'm typing this. Hoping there'll be more rooms at the hotel tomorrow. I like being able to earn money. And. I know I have to finish a computer program, which I am not looking forward to. But I need to fix my incompletes! So it'll all work out.

Day One.

So. Who knows if this will work. But. I want to start writing more of my life. For more people to read.
Especially getting ready to go to Hawaii in a couple months. And it'll be harder to keep in contact if the time difference is so large.

So. Here I go!! Wish me luck!